Diane Rowling (a very kind and talented business executive) was sadly killed a number of weeks ago. At the memorial service, I was struck by one of the solutions she and her husband employed when they got angry with one another. When one of them was on the verge of walking out of the room, the other would say, “I love you, and you can’t do anything about it.”
Category: Executive Coaching
Are you still serving SHIT sandwiches during performance reviews? Or are you providing positive and negative feedback when it is most useful and meaningful? When it happens.
Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Laureate and founder of behavioral economics, says that we have two selves: our experiencing self and our memory self. Our experiencing self likes to be happy in the moment—with people we like, in a comfortable environment, and engaging in fun activities. Our memory self is more interested in goal attainment than comfort and familiarity; it seeks out experiences that make for good, memorable stories.
As a teenager, I found myself with 16 others on the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Maine in a 30-foot pulling boat with 12-foot swells and no tiller or rudder. The seas were getting rougher and the sky was crackling with lightning and thunder. We were scared, wet, and tired. We were unprotected from […]
A business partnership is a system. Sometimes that system resembles a couple or family system. And like any couple or family, there may be one over-functioning and one under-functioning person in the partnership. Often the over-functioning one does a great job of compensating for the other’s dysfunction, but that doesn’t mean that it’s healthy to […]
A “bully pulpit” is simply an excellent platform from which to share an important (and often moral) message. You don’t need an actual pulpit in a church or chapel to be in possession of one. President Theodore Roosevelt, who coined the term, used the White House as his bully pulpit. Today’s business leaders have […]
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” In Snow White, the queen has it all seemingly–privilege, power, wealth, and beauty. She’s just not quite as fair as Snow White. That shouldn’t be a problem, right? Just shrug it off. Take your second place trophy for fairest in the land and […]
Pecking Order The term “pecking order” was introduced by Thorleif Schjelderup-Ebbe in 1921 under the German terms Hackordnung or Hackliste, and brought into English in 1927. Schjelderup-Ebbe studied chickens and how they express dominance via pecking. He found that chickens typically have a pecking order that runs 15 deep. This pecking order allows for a more effective use of energy and […]
Positive to Negative Ratio of affirmation to criticisms is call the Losada Ratio. Changing your positive to negative ratio can have a dramatic outcome for your business and your marriage.
Suit-able Leadership Your wife says your wardrobe is handicapping you professionally. You respond by finding a wardrobe consultant. He eyes your wide-lapel suit and room-for-two pleated pants and says, “Listen, Italian would be perfect!” What does that mean? It means he loves Italian. But do you–or could you? If you prefer to wear socks […]
The right word may be effective, but no word is ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.– Mark Twain Pausing is undervalued and underutilized by leaders. There’s a tendency when someone asks us a question to enter a “me” mindset. “Now it’s my turn,” our brains tend to think. As a result, we […]
“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”–Jonathan Swift As leaders, we can feel too visible–both when things go wrong (and people seek someone to blame) and when things go well (and people want to give us too much credit). More often, though, we don’t feel visible enough. We feel like we’re […]
Here are 5 specific facilitation techniques that will substantially improve outcomes of your meetings/workshops. Explain. Explain the overarching goal, its importance, and the expectations of work to be done today (and in what order). Appreciate. People work harder if they feel like their work is appreciated. Cite some examples of work this group has done in […]
Is there a team member you work around? If so, take a minute to list your reasons. Did he betray your trust? What is it that you don’t like about her? Cite specific incidences that caused you to write this person off. Now take a minute to consider the consequences of working around this team […]