“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” In Snow White, the queen has it all seemingly–privilege, power, wealth, and beauty. She’s just not quite as fair as Snow White. That shouldn’t be a problem, right? Just shrug it off. Take your second place trophy for fairest in the land and […]
Category: Relationship at Work
Pecking Order The term “pecking order” was introduced by Thorleif Schjelderup-Ebbe in 1921 under the German terms Hackordnung or Hackliste, and brought into English in 1927. Schjelderup-Ebbe studied chickens and how they express dominance via pecking. He found that chickens typically have a pecking order that runs 15 deep. This pecking order allows for a more effective use of energy and […]
Positive to Negative Ratio of affirmation to criticisms is call the Losada Ratio. Changing your positive to negative ratio can have a dramatic outcome for your business and your marriage.
The right word may be effective, but no word is ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.– Mark Twain Pausing is undervalued and underutilized by leaders. There’s a tendency when someone asks us a question to enter a “me” mindset. “Now it’s my turn,” our brains tend to think. As a result, we […]
Is there a team member you work around? If so, take a minute to list your reasons. Did he betray your trust? What is it that you don’t like about her? Cite specific incidences that caused you to write this person off. Now take a minute to consider the consequences of working around this team […]
“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” ― Santosh Kalwar, Quote Me Everyday You make a vow not to eat sugar. A few minutes pass. Still, no. And then an hour. That is a definitive no! That is an absolute I will not touch the stuff. […]
Previously Undetected Recruiting Error (PURE) “PURE hire” was a term Anderson Accounting leaders used when they realized that they had made a “Previously Undetected Recruiting Error.” Anderson made a number of mistakes during its peak, not the least of which was its handling of Enron. The term “PURE hire” was a mistake, too. It sounds […]
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha Leaders seem to struggle with eruptions of anger more than others. They burn through assistants and prompt talented coworkers to leave for calmer pastures. These leaders tend […]
Difficult Conversations How do you approach difficult conversations? Do you avoid them for as long as you can? Do you have an intermediary broach the topic for you? Do you use questions to gain entry? Do you come right out and say what you’re thinking? If you’re uncertain how to have a difficult conversation or […]
It doesn’t interest me if there is one God Or many gods. I want to know if you belong or feel Abandoned If you know despair or can see it in others. I want to know If you are prepared to live in the world With its harsh need To change you. If you can […]
Betrayal at Work Betrayal is a violation of trust, which is why it feels so gut-wrenchingly awful and can come as such a shock. We often don’t or can’t see it coming. And we’re often left flatfooted in terms of how to deal with it. Our anger or resentment may cause us to want to […]
Being a rescuer can feed one’s ego. Eliminating drama triangles, though, leads to increased accountability—far better for leaders than a brief ego boost.
One of the most used habits of successful leaders is asking questions. And the exceptional leaders know what questions to ask and when to ask them.
Why might my favorite employee be undermining my leadership? One of the questions I ask leaders is “Who do you eat lunch with?” Some eat alone, with clients, or with friends from outside of work, as you might imagine. Others typically eat with their favorite coworker on the executive team. These leaders may ignore or […]
Trust is essential to maintain any personal network. Winning trust with those in your personal network requires fous on all four identified dimensions.