Don’t Lean In. Find Balance.


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    Lisa Chase Reply

    Gary, I would say your view is idealistic. As you correctly point out societal influences play a huge role in who we become. Who we become based on these influences are the people who populate the business world. Anyone who succeeds financially, reaches a C-level position, is a strong political voice or has a large sphere of influence as a thought leader pays a price. Sandberg is offering sound advice for women who want to suceed in the here and now, and letting them know up front about the costs. Let’s hope enough people want to achieve that success and are then able to make some changes from a position of power.

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    Cathy Paper Reply

    I didn’t hear Sandberg say act more like a man. I heard her say expect more of yourself. Don’t make excuses before you’ve given it a shot. A guy would not decline a promotion if he were going to have a baby, why should a woman. She’s just creating a language for women to articulate what they are thinking about and trying to solve late at night when they can’t sleep. Look forward to more discussion after you read the book.

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      Gary B Cohen Reply

      Comment taken. Just seems that many of the expectations that have come with our culture are having a toll on both men and women. I have seen many men, not the ones that Sandberg competes with for opportunities pass on career achievement and lift their expectations for themselves in other parts of their lives. I think the dialog gets too limited when it is a gender discussion. Cathy, I can say this too you and those that know how I think without being accused of not understanding women and men in the context of society and the appalling way discrimination has effected our culture. Thanks for making sure your opinion is heard, it needs to be!

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    Charlene Zietsma Reply

    Gary, you state that splitting housework and childcare responsibilities is not realistic because men feel the pressure to be providers. Yet many women are the providers or co-providers now. It is only when women demand that men take up their share of home responsibilities (or men volunteer to), that men will achieve more work/life balance — many seem to discover they actually enjoy spending time with their children! And when the home imbalance is fixed, more workplaces will find that workers of both genders will refuse to work the insane hours that are possible when a spouse is doing all the “life” in the work/life balance, and their expectations will necessarily ratchet down. It’s worth a shot, anyway, because the alternatives (exhaustion, self-sacrifice and blocked career advancement for women, limited “life” and relationships with spouse and children for men) are distasteful for most.

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      Gary B Cohen Reply


      I wish a culture could change as quickly as those who see the issue appear. As we know, sadly this imbalance has been going on for 1,000 of years and in our country since it’s inception. It has made great progress and has so much further to go to meet the thought leaders like yourself. Sadly when we arrive we will still be behind what is ever the newest awareness at a time. Thank goodness people like Sandberg are willing to put a position out there and take the support and criticism that goes with it.

      This response reminds me of a new favorite quote from a speech by Teddy Roosevelt given at the Sorbonne in Paris.

      “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

      We all need to be in the discussion and drive change or stay silent.

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